A Merry Little Ex-Mas

☕Our No Cap Review

A Merry Little Ex-Mas: 62% (Lightbulb Change Needed)

The bulb remains lit, though dimly. This Netflix holiday rom-com delivers genuine charm and laugh-out-loud moments, but spiritual discernment is needed. Strong themes about marriage reconciliation resonate with biblical truth—yet the film wobbles on critical ethical foundations that evangelical Christians should consider carefully.

A Merry Little Ex-Mas in a Nutshell

This film presents itself as a feel-good Christmas story about second chances, but it’s really a portrait of marital dysfunction dressed up in twinkling lights. Kate and Everett have decided to divorce after 20 years. They plan one final festive holiday together before selling their home and moving on. But when Everett arrives with his glamorous new girlfriend Tess, and Kate counter-invites goofy local handyman Chet, the careful plan unravels. Through Christmas chaos, awkward reunions, and a surprisingly well-timed fire, both discover they still love each other. They reconcile, abandoning their new partners and divorce papers in the process.

Runtime: 1 hour 31 minutes | Directed by: Steve Carr | Starring: Alicia Silverstone, Oliver Hudson, Jameela Jamil, Pierson Fodé

🎬 Plot Synopsis

Kate and Everett have been drifting for years. She abandoned her architecture dreams to follow him to the small town of Winterlight when he became a doctor. While his career flourished, hers stalled. Resentment calcified into indifference. Now their kids are grown—Gabriel still in high school dreaming of firefighting, Sienna home from Oxford with her Harry Potter-obsessed boyfriend Nigel—and the parents agree: one last Christmas together, then they separate.

But Everett shows up with Tess, a successful New York nonprofit founder who runs organizations helping female entrepreneurs. She’s glamorous, confident, and clearly better-organized than Kate’s solar-powered home and homemade traditions. Kate feels sidelined and invites Chet, a perpetually cheerful local handyman with multiple side gigs (he’s a volunteer firefighter and, awkwardly, a part-time exotic dancer). Chet becomes her “date” to various family events.

The middle act is Christmas rom-com chaos: sledding competitions, gingerbread contests, tension escalating when Everett reveals he’s learned from Kate’s mistakes and plans to be a better husband in his next marriage—a comment that lands like a dagger. Kate furiously announces she’s selling the house and moving to Boston to finally launch her architecture firm.

On Christmas Eve, a small fire breaks out. Chet rips off his clothes (shown in patterned underwear) to help smother the flames. Gabriel, rising to the occasion, grabs the fire extinguisher. After everyone leaves the chaotic dinner party, Everett returns to look through family photo albums with Kate. They both realize they still love each other.

When a snowstorm knocks out power across town, Kate’s solar-powered house becomes a refuge where the whole community gathers. Seeing how much her presence and ideas matter to others, Kate decides to stay. Everett pledges to quit medicine and move if necessary. They tear up the divorce papers, kiss, and one year later, Kate is running her own sustainability business while Everett supports her ambitions.

💭 Themes & Underlying Messages – Biblical?

1. Marriage Covenant & Reconciliation ✝️

The Theme: The film’s central message—that a dying marriage can be resurrected through honesty, effort, and remembering why you loved someone—aligns strongly with biblical teaching on marriage.

Biblical Resonance: Malachi 2:14-16 warns against divorce and breaking covenant. The prophet condemns those who cover their garments with violence through unfaithful marriage. Scripture presents marriage as a binding covenant before God, not a contractual arrangement to dissolve when feelings fade. Ephesians 5:25 calls husbands to love their wives sacrificially, as Christ loved the church. Kate and Everett’s journey—from resentment to communication to renewed commitment—echoes the biblical call to fight for your marriage through prayer, humility, and restored intimacy.

The Dissonance: The film never frames reconciliation through a spiritual lens. No prayer, no mention of God, no church counsel or pastoral guidance. Kate and Everett fix their marriage through feelings and a snowstorm—not through repentance or faith. For believers, true marital restoration flows from God’s grace, not just nostalgia and circumstance. The film suggests that liking each other again is enough; Scripture demands something deeper: dying to self, forgiving as Christ forgave, and building marriage on Christ as the foundation (1 Corinthians 3:11).

Why This Matters: If you’re struggling in marriage, this film offers a pleasant fantasy but incomplete truth. Real reconciliation requires the Holy Spirit’s work, not just a well-timed fire.

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2. Ambition, Sacrifice, & Resentment

The Theme: Kate sacrificed her dreams for Everett’s career. Over 20 years, this unexamined choice festered into anger and contempt. The film suggests that staying in your marriage requires your spouse to actively support your growth, not just tolerate it.

Biblical Resonance: Proverbs 14:12 warns that “there is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.” Kate’s choice to abandon architecture was made without the counsel of God’s Word. Proverbs 3:5-6 calls believers to “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” The film’s implicit lesson—that Kate should have consulted her own ambitions and had them validated—contains truth: a wife’s gifts and dreams matter.

However, the biblical view is more nuanced. 1 Peter 3:1-6 calls wives to submit to their husbands, and Proverbs 31 celebrates the woman who works skillfully, maintains her home, and conducts business—with her husband’s encouragement. The issue wasn’t that Kate had ambitions; it was that Everett failed to cherish and support her, and Kate became bitter instead of speaking truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).

Why This Matters: Many Christian women suppress callings, talents, or dreams “for the sake of the marriage.” This film models a conversation evangelicals need: How do we honor both biblical submission and the reality that you’re both image-bearers with gifts? The answer isn’t for wives to leave their marriages or for husbands to ignore their wives’ worth—it’s Spirit-filled communication and mutual honor.

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3. Honesty & Communication 🗣️

The Theme: The marriage fractures partly because Kate and Everett never openly discussed their frustrations. Everett hides his work stress and fatigue. Kate buries her resentment. Neither tells the other the truth until Christmas chaos forces it.

Biblical Resonance: Ephesians 4:25-27 instructs: “Put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. ‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Kate and Everett gave the devil a 20-year foothold through silence. Proverbs 27:12 warns that unaddressed issues fester; James 5:16 calls believers to “confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” Honesty—vulnerable, loving honesty—is scriptural medicine.

Why This Matters: If your marriage is drifting, this film correctly diagnoses part of the problem: silence kills love. But the solution isn’t just talking—it’s confessing sin, forgiving, and praying together. Christian couples should pursue biblical counseling and marital prayer before considering separation.

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4. Contentment vs. Ambition 🏘️

The Theme: Kate wants to leave Winterlight and build a big career in Boston. Everett eventually says he’d move with her, but then—almost magically—she decides staying is better. The film subtly endorses the small-town, domestic-focused life over urban ambition.

Biblical Caution: 1 Timothy 6:6-10 teaches that “godliness with contentment is great gain,” but it doesn’t condemn meaningful work or calling. Proverbs 31 shows a woman running a household, trading in fields, making garments, and being a respected businesswoman. The Bible isn’t anti-ambition; it’s anti-idolatry of ambition. Kate’s decision to stay feels less like Spirit-led contentment and more like she found validation in others’ approval and her kids’ needs. That’s good emotionally but potentially spiritually shallow.

Why This Matters: Don’t mistake this film’s message for biblical teaching on work and calling. God calls some believers to launch businesses, some to missions, some to raise children full-time. The fruit of the Spirit, not your zip code, determines whether you’re living rightly.

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5. Divorce, Separation & Remarriage 💔

The Theme: Kate and Everett were already separated, planning to divorce. New partners entered the picture. By film’s end, both abandoned their new relationships and reconciled with each other.

Biblical Complexity: Scripture is clear. Matthew 19:6 teaches marriage is what God has joined, let no one separate—but it’s also clear that Matthew 19:9 permits divorce for sexual immorality. The film never clarifies if Everett was unfaithful or if this was simply incompatibility. For evangelical viewers: if Kate and Everett’s separation was unbiblical (no grounds per Scripture), then their reconciliation is the film’s most theologically sound moment. If one of them committed adultery, the picture gets murkier.

The film portrays Tess and Chet as decent people—not villains—yet both are abandoned without much consequence. That’s realistic but not a moment to celebrate.

Why This Matters: Evangelical viewers should ask: Does your church teach that divorce is always sin, or only in specific cases? How should remarriage be handled? This film skips the theology entirely, which is safe for Netflix but unhelpful for believers navigating these painful situations.

Main Characters—Positive or Negative Role Models?

Character	Role Model Status	Biblical Assessment
Kate Holden (Alicia Silverstone)	Mixed / Cautionary	Kate shows grit and honesty about her needs, but her trajectory—from self-sacrifice to self-focus to staying put for emotional validation—lacks spiritual grounding. She never seeks counsel, pray, or acknowledge God’s will. Verdict: Sympathetic but spiritually unformed.
Dr. Everett Holden (Oliver Hudson)	Mixed / Cautionary	Everett’s workaholic tendencies harm his family, and he learns this lesson—good. But his solution (quitting medicine entirely, or moving to Boston) feels reactive, not thought-through. His sons’ influence (gay dads) is presented as morally neutral; evangelicals will differ on this. Verdict: Relatable but lacks spiritual conviction.
Tess Wiley (Jameela Jamil)	Neutral / Sympathetic Bystander	Tess is successful, kind, and self-aware enough to bow out when she realizes Everett still loves Kate. She’s not a villain—just collateral damage in someone else’s story. Verdict: A cautionary lesson about getting involved with separated people without clarity on the relationship’s status.
Chet Moore (Pierson Fodé)	Negative Role Model / Comic Relief	Chet is charming and well-meaning, but his defining traits are that he’s not serious and not ambitious. He works multiple low-wage jobs, has no long-term plans, and seems content with constant improvisation. For young Christians wondering about marriage partners, he’s a cautionary tale about choosing charisma over character and stability. Verdict: Fun but not someone to emulate in a life partner.
Gabriel Holden (Wilder Hudson)	Positive (with caveats)	Gabriel wants to become a firefighter and eventually receives his parents’ blessing. He’s earnest, brave (extinguishes the fire), and willing to sacrifice for others—all good. However, the film’s suggestion that he should skip college is questionable. Verdict: Admirable instincts; parents’ endorsement of his choice without college exploration is short-sighted.
Sienna Holden (Emily Hall)	Neutral / Underdeveloped	Sienna is a college student home for Christmas with her boyfriend. She’s not a central focus, so little to assess. She seems loyal to her family. Verdict: Too minor to evaluate.
Nigel (Timothy Innes)	Negative Role Model / Comic Relief	Nigel is portrayed as the joke character—obsessed with Harry Potter, socially awkward, kisses Everett on the neck at their first meeting. His character mocks nerdy fandom and odd social behavior. For young believers, the film models that it’s fine to laugh at people who are weird. Verdict: Played entirely for laughs; not someone to take seriously as a partner choice.
April (Melissa Joan Hart)	Positive / Supporting Role	April is Kate’s steadfast best friend, wise, humorous, and physically present. She offers wine and wisdom without judgment. Verdict: A model of biblical friendship—loyal, honest, present in crisis.

⚠️ Content Warnings

Violence & Gore:  None ✅

The film is TV-PG. There’s a small kitchen fire, sledding collisions, and physical comedy, but nothing disturbing or graphic.

Drug & Alcohol Use: Moderate Concern 🍷

• Wine and cocktails appear at several social gatherings and family dinners​

• April, Kate’s friend, is frequently portrayed holding cocktails as she enters scenes

• No one is portrayed as drunk or irresponsible; drinking is just ambient

For Christians: Light social drinking isn’t condemned in Scripture (1 Corinthians 10:25-26), but Ephesians 5:18 warns against drunkenness. This film normalizes casual alcohol consumption; younger viewers shouldn’t assume it’s morally neutral.

Profanity: Minor Concern 🗣️

• Mild profanity appears but is sparse: “bloody,” “damn,” “s–t,” and “d–k” are used in scattered moments, not as a pattern​

Ephesians 5:4 instructs: “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” The profanity here is infrequent enough that it doesn’t define the film, but it’s present enough that aware viewers will notice.

Verdict: Not a major profanity problem, but worth noting.

Romantic or Explicit Content: Moderate Concern 💋

• The striptease scene: Chet, described as a part-time exotic dancer, tears off his tuxedo during the fire scene to help smother the flames. He’s shown in patterned underwear (boxer-briefs style), not nude, but it’s an awkward moment played for laughs. For evangelicals, the combination of sexual suggestiveness (exotic dancing) and partial undressing may feel inappropriate for family viewing​​

• Romantic moments: Kate and Everett have several tender moments—hand-holding, almost-kisses, and implications of physical affection. This is mild for a romance but may prompt conversations about boundaries

• New relationships: Kate dates Chet briefly; Everett dates Tess. Neither relationship is explicit, but dating is portrayed as casual and morally neutral (no mention of commitment or marriage as a context for romance)

Verdict: The striptease scene is the most concerning moment. Otherwise, romantic content is mild but not Christian-marriage-focused.

🎯Verdict: Reasons For and Against

Reasons to Watch ✅

1. Marriage reconciliation is modeled positively. If you’re considering divorce or feeling distant from your spouse, this film asks the right questions: Do we remember why we loved each other? Have we tried honest conversation? Is there anything worth fighting for?
2. Family loyalty is celebrated. Everett and Kate ultimately prioritize their children’s needs and their extended family’s values. That’s biblical (1 Timothy 5:4, 1 Peter 3:7).
3. It’s genuinely funny. The supporting cast—especially Jameela Jamil’s reaction to receiving AirPods while her boyfriend hand-makes perfume for his ex-wife—is comedy gold. Laughter is a gift (Proverbs 17:22).
4. Small-town community values are honored. The film shows a town that knows each other, supports each other, and celebrates together. In our fractured age, that’s countercultural and biblical (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
5. It’s a safe, clean watch. Unlike many modern films, this one has no graphic content, minimal profanity, and no sexual explicitness. It’s genuinely family-friendly (though not child-focused).​

Reasons to Approach with Caution

1. No spiritual foundation. The film treats marriage and faith as separate lanes. God is never mentioned; prayer doesn’t happen; repentance isn’t part of the reconciliation. For Christians, this is a significant omission.
2. The striptease scene. Even though it’s played for laughs and no full nudity occurs, the combination of a character defined as an exotic dancer removing his clothes (even partially) may feel uncomfortable or triggering for some viewers. Fast-forward if needed.
3. LGBTQ+ representation without theological context. Everett’s two dads are portrayed warmly and humorously, but this may challenge evangelical viewers who hold traditional views on sexuality. The film presents their family as simply valid and good, with no acknowledgment of different theological perspectives. This isn’t inherently a “reason to skip,” but be aware.
4. The ending glorifies a specific lifestyle choice. The film suggests that staying in a small town, focusing on family, and abandoning big ambitions is the “happy ending.” While that can be right for some, it may mislead younger Christians into thinking that God always calls us to put down roots in one place and sublimate individual calling to family needs. That’s not universally biblical (Acts 13:2-3, Matthew 28:19-20).
5. Divorce is treated casually. The film never explores whether this divorce was biblically justified, never mentions church counsel, never shows genuine repentance or grief over covenant-breaking. For viewers in or considering divorce, the film’s lack of spiritual seriousness could be spiritually dangerous.​